"I mean, it's literally like someone took
-- Harry Lockhart from Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Were truer words e’er spoken? In short, yes. Several times. Shit, thousands, millions of times; even more times than your mom got railed by the milkman when you were told to go play catch in the yard. We're not talking “true” like the time your girlfriend told you "I'm pregnant" (your response: "And I was afraid I gave you my chlamydia").
Who in their right mind could, would, (no one should) deny the fact that the further one travels from the west coast (specifically Los Angeles (more specifically Beverly Hills (if you want to be technically correct, the black hole present in Paris Hilton's cerebral cavity (too late CERN!)))), the more "normal" the populace becomes.
How would one define normal? For the purpose of this study, I've parsed my analysis into four discrete and irrefutably relevant categories to quantitatively determine one's normalcy:
1) Number of animals killed.
2) Years of education completed past first grade.
3) Number of dents on your car.
4) Number of people who would die in your place.
Let me repeat that these categories are irrefutably relevant. Irrefutably.
Worry not; I shall enumerate on each one of these categories in a completely sarcastic and hopefully borderline offensive manner in subsequent posts.
Until next time, make it rain on them hoes.
